SDK ASK!
by Doublebend
Summary: Meet the SDK cast, ready for any fan questions you may want to ask them! As a start, we've got Kyo, Yuya, Benitora, Yukimura, Okuni, Sasuke, Sakuya, and Kyoshiro, but I am SO gonna add more if this gets interesting! Just R&R, or PM me to give requests!


**Doubly**: Welcome one, welcome all! A script form fanfic, I always wanted to try this!

**Kyo**: Hey, can we go now?

**Doubly**: NEVER!!!..._(cough)_ I mean, not in the time being, Mr. Kyo. I need to explain the concept of this sector, and do a bit of begging, and THEN we can start.

First! As most of you may be familiar with how this works, I'll just briefly go over it. We ask questions. The character whom the question is directed to answers. Comments from other characters are added for comedy effect. You can send questions to the author by PM or reviews (the latter is appreciated). PLEEEEEAAAASSEE REEEVIIIEEEWWW.

Even if you don't have a question. Since I hadn't gone around and asked for people beforehand, we'll just start off with the ones I made up myself. Please refrain from repeating the same kind of questions, or boring ones you can find in the original series. Now, let's meet today's cast!

**Kyo**: So, just why exactly are we here again?

_A number of people from SDK sits across each other on plushy couches, some fidgeting nervously, others looking bored or trying to entertain themselves by, e.g, plaiting Sasuke's hair, polishing gun, trying to stop the other from plaiting his hair, sloppily pouring tea into cups around the coffee table, waiting while Sasuke shakes his head to untangle the knots before starting all over again, much to irritation. Yukimura is the first to answer the demon eyed samurai, today without his Tenrou and so at unease._

**Yukimura**: I thought that Kyo-san, at least, will have a clear idea of what was going on before agreeing to participate.

**Sasuke**: Yukimura, STOP touching my hair!

**Yuya**: Let's go over this again. WHY do we have to do this?

**Benitora**: Exactly, Yuya-han. What's stopping us from getting up and leaving?

**Okuni**: Apart from the chains we saw back on the wall in the dungeon there, you mean.

**Sakuya**: Yes, apart from that.

**Kyo**: Oi, dumb ass host. You didn't plan this out very well, did you.

**Doubly**: Au contraire. I actually got in touch with Muramasa in the Other World. He threatens you, Onime no Kyo, that he won't ever give you any more of those specially made dango you liked so much if you and everybody else here does not contribute to this show.

**Kyo**: Your petty lies won't work, moron.

**Doubly**: _(gets out mobile) _I've got him on the phone right now.

_Kyo, still skeptical, takes it and speaks into the mouthpiece._

**Kyo**: Hello…? _(muffled voice at the other end of line) _…Mura – what are you…yes, I want those dumplings. But that's not…alright, fine. Yeah, yeah. Goodbye. _(He clicks the phone shut, tossing it over to Doubly before facing the others.)_

**Kyo**: If any of you bitches try to leave, I'll make sure that your first step out of here will be your last.

**Benitora**: Now wait a minute, Kyo-han, why do we have to –

_Glare_.

**Yuya**: …What he said.

**Yukimura**: Well, there was nothing interesting going on, so I guess we can spend some time here.

**Sasuke**: I still don't get how we got here in the first place.

**Okuni**: Well, it seems arrangements have already been made, so there's nothing let to do except for going with the flow, is there?

**Sakuya**: Has anyone seen Kyoshiro?

**Doubly**: Here's our first question, for Kyo -

* * *

_Kyo, why are your eyes _**red**_? You DO know that is usually a symptom of underdeveloped, almost transparent irises, and the colour is actually deprived from the red blood cells behind the pupils, and in some cases it's from addiction to cannabis, or a burst vessel, or one kind of disease or another, and that you_ **should**_ be vulnerable to light?_

**Kyo**: What colour the hell my eyes are really isn't your business.

**Doubly**: Nor your choice. Correct?

**Kyo**:…..It wasn't my choice on how much of a stereotypical "DEMON EYED" slayer of a thousand Kamijou wanted me to be.

**Doubly**: Oh, right. Got your point.

_It still doesn't answer if you are aware of the cause, such as injury or disease. Or excessive consuming of cannabis..._

**Kyo**: How can I friggin not know, when Yukimura is practically near dragging me to see the optometrist for a check up along with Sarutobi, every time a form arrives from his school?

**Yukimura**: As the man destined to defeat him one day, it's my duty to check on his well being.

**Doubly**: That makes no sense.

**Sasuke**: I go to _school_?

* * *

_Yuya, what's your 3size?_

**Yuya**: AND WHY THE FRICKIN HELL WOULD I TELL YOU??? _(whips out something from inside robes)_

**Doubly**: …I thought I said to leave your weapons outside in the lobby.

**Kyo**: Hey dog-face, for once I can understand your humiliation in displaying your sizes. If I had breasts that pathetic…

**Yuya**: _(starts firing randomly, although it looks as though she's mainly aiming for Kyo's head.)_

_A few minutes later, two uniformed guards lock the three barreled gun up in a tightly chained safe, while ten others heave several of their fallen comrades onto stretchers, carrying their bodies away from the remnants of the fight. The guests and host all sit back down on an assembly of various mismatched furniture – two deckchairs, a few benches, the type of office chairs with wheels on the base, a few armchairs, a patched sofa, and a couple of that new robotic seat Sony or something invented, you know, the one which moves just by applying weight to one end. The former vintage, now completely destroyed with bullets embedded in them, couches were also hurried off set._

**Doubly** (_craning head for a last farewell)_ Those cost me two hundred bucks on auction.

**Benitora**: That isn't much.

**Doubly**: SAYS THE RICH YOUNG MASTER WHO CAN'T EVEN CONSIDER THE FEELINGS OF THE POOR.

**Yukimura**: That _is _pretty low.

**Doubly**: (_Eyes shining from unshed tears as they look up at their godly hero._)

**Yuya**: …………If you must know, my sizes are B84, W59, H85.

**Benitora**: That's not too bad, Yuya-han.

* * *

_Okuni, what're yours?_

**Okuni**: _(lying on a deckchair, sipping a coconut cocktail – where did she get that from?) _B98, W60, H89.

**Doubly**: _(Glances at a shocked Yuya, then quickly turns away)_

**Yuya**: SHE SMIRKED!!! I SAW HER, SHE WAS LAUGHING!!!

**Doubly**: Kyo, get your flat-chested girlfriend off of me.

**Kyo**: You're on your own.

**Benitora**: Umm…Yuya-han, it's okay. I like breastless girls!

**Yuya**: (pulls out knives from sleeve and chucks them around)

**Doubly**: WHAT PART OF THE "NO WEAPONS" SIGN OUT IN THE CORRIDOR DID YOU NOT GET!!!???

* * *

_Benitora, I don't like your dad much._

**Benitora**: I think we'll get on just fine, then.

_You're an idiot, but that's what I like about you._

**Benitora**: …..Thanks…I think…

_You have a great fashion sense, though._

**Benitora**: That isn't sarcasm, is it?

_Do you have to be so suspicious of me?_

**Benitora**: Well, bodiless voice, I think I can name a few reasons why I should be wary. What's your question, anyway?

_...Nothing. I just wanted to talk sarcastically to you._

**Benitora**: YOU JUST WANTED A CONVERSATION WITH ME??? And wait, _sarcastically???_

_You're a pretty honest person, I can't think up many things I don't know about you already from the manga._

**Kyo**: At least you have some popularity with phantoms.

**Benitora**: WHY CAN'T I HAVE NORMAL, NON-GHOST FANS LIKE YOU GUYS???

**Yukimura**: Apparently, we're built differently.

* * *

_Hey, Yukki._

**Yukimura**: Hello. You're a pretty little thing.

_(Blush) Thank you._

**Yukimura**: What's your question?

_How many women have you slept with, at the last count?_

**Everybody**: ……………

**Yukimura**: _(pulling off socks to count with both his fingers and toes) _Let's see –

**Sasuke**: NEXT QUESTION!!!

* * *

_Yo, Kyoshiro._

**Kyo**: _(in the middle of switching places with Kyoshiro) _Aargh…you bastard…stay PUT!!!

**Kyoshiro**: _(shoving Kyo out of the way)_ Let's make this quick, I can't hold him for long.

_(**Kyo**: LEMME OUT! LEMME OUT! LEMME AT HIM!)_

_Oh, be quiet Kyo. Kyoshiro-chan, how come you have this bit of bed head sticking out from your hair?_

**Kyoshiro**: _(laughs) _I guess I just don't take as much good care of my hair as Kyo does.

**Yukimura**: He uses my special shampoo. And a pretty good deodorant.

**Yuya**: Oh, so that's why he smells like roses every time he sweats.

_(**Kyo**: I'm gonna kill you…)_

_But it goes away when you get serious and fight. Why?_

**Kyoshiro**: I suppose it's afraid of the pressure, so it hides deep inside.

**Doubly**: It's a piece of _hair._

**Kyoshiro**: Hair have feelings too!

**Kyo**: Yeah, don't diss the hair.

**Doubly**: _(smirk smirk) _I smell strawberries.

**Yukimura**: Kosuke's perfume.

**Kyo**: Don't DISS cosmetics, alright???

* * *

_Sasuke-kuuuun!!!_

**Sasuke**: Oh, Jesus.

_Hey, are those shorts the same ones you wore back in the Forest? They're the same pattern._

**Sasuke**: Sure. It's a keepsake, along with the shirt.

_It's gotten a bit small, hasn't it?_

**Sasuke**: Kosuke fixed it up a bit, but I like it as it is.

**Yukimura**: Me, too.

**Doubly**: Me, three.

**Sasuke**: Perverts.

_I like your legs._

**Yukimura**: Two.

**Doubly**: Three.

**Kyo**: Four.

**Sasuke**: GET AWAY FROM ME, PEDOPHILES!!!

* * *

_Good day, Sakuya-san._

**Sakuya**: Nice to meet you.

_Pleasure's all mine._

**Sakuya**: No, mine.

_No, mi –_

**Kyo**: Just get on with it.

…_Sakuya. That's a nice name. Got originality, unlike Sakura._

**Sakuya**: Why, thank you.

_When I first saw you, it was in the anime._

**Sakuya**: Really?

_You had narrow eyes, and I hated how they made you look like that. Were you mad?_

**Sakuya**: Not at all. Besides, my real features were not available at the time of the anime release.

_It hurts less by pretending that the anime was a fraud, and the manga is the actual real thing though, doesn't it?_

**Sakuya**: Totally.

**Benitora**: Your demeanor slipped there for a bit.

**Sakuya**: Whoops.

_But you know, I thought the same as Yuya when I first caught sight of you in the MANGA. I figured you'll be more of a saint, priestess, you know, that kind of stuff. But in the end, you turned out to be a…_

**Yuya**: A hamster.

_Exactly._

**Doubly**: Although I liked that way better. Much more sociable.

**Sakuya**: Thank you, again. Will you like some tea?

…………

**Doubly**: _(through gritted teeth) _…You spilt it on my leg.

**Sakuya**: Oh, I'm so sorry! _(fiddles about, searching for something to wipe with and ends up knocking over other cups, the teapot, the can full of chopsticks, the vase, the layered snack stand) _Sorry, sorry…does it burn?

**Doubly**:………N–not at all.

**Sakuya**: _(radiant smile) _Oh, good!

_Well, I think that's it for now, bye!_

**Sakuya**: Oh, but your question…!

_No, it's fine, I'll get to it next time. See you!_

**Doubly**: …See, you.

* * *

_Okuni._

**Okuni**: You've already asked me a question.

_Yes, but that was only for comparism._

**Yuya**: Comparism with WHAT, exactly???

_Where do you get those totally cool fighting string thingies?_

**Yuya**: DON'T IGNORE ME LIKE THAT!!

**Okuni**: I was given the talent by the Mibu clan, after I joined their ranks as Indara.

_So, you weren't born with those powers?_

**Yuya**: You guys are doing this on purpose, aren't you.

**Kyo**: Oh, when did you get _that _idea, dog-face?

**Okuni**: _(sound of fighting in background, as well as Doubly's yells on no weapons allowed) _Well, I used to be a priestess, a _miko_, like Sakuya-san in Izumo, Japan. Until apparently I got bored, ran away, and started the now famous dance theatre _kabuki_.

_Then they banned women from performing in the Kabuki theatres, didn't they?_

**Okuni**: Yes, and quite a pitiful thing that was. Stripping away a woman's only release of daily stress by dance and acting!

_Tragic. And I heard you disappeared after that?_

**Okuni**: I think that was about the time I went over to the Mibu clan, got to know Kyo-san and Kyoshiro-san, and, oh, a lot of things happened. I think.

_You _think.

**Okuni**: This is all from Wikipedia reference.

**Doubly**: JUST HOW MANY HIDDEN DANGEROUS GOODS DID YOU GUYS SMUGGLE IN!!??

**Sasuke**: What we could.

**Doubly**: SASUKE, I LOVE YOU, BUT THAT IS NOT A VERY GOOD ANSWER!!!

**Kyo**: Someone get her a strait jacket, she's going mental.

**Yuya**: Why were we doing this again?

* * *

_By the way, Sakuya-san, what is your 3size?_

**Sakuya**: Oh, um, _(blush) _B85, W57, H87.

**Kyo**: You got pwned by _Sakuya_, dog-face.

**Yuya**: GAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

**Doubly**: No violence! I oppose to violence in my studio!

* * *

_Doubly, what are yours?_

**Doubly**: LIKE FUCK I'LL TELL YOU!!!!

**Yukimura**: Doubly is actually a real life person, this is called sexual harassment.

**Doubly**: I never really measured, actually.

**Yukimura**: _(holds up measuring tape)_

**Sasuke**: NEXT!!!

* * *

_Yukimura, I seem to remember you gave us your 3size on your profile._

**Doubly**: Why do we need to know a guy's 3size?

**Yukimura**: B85, W70, H84!

**Sasuke**: He's not listening.

**Doubly**: Oh my god, he's hotter than Yuya!

**Yuya**: HOW??

* * *

_Why are we having all these questions on three sizes anyway?_

**Doubly**: Don't look at us! _You_'re the one asking us the questions!

**Benitora**: For additional information.

**Yukimura**: For wasting time on this fanfic.

**Kyo**: For rubbing it in dog-face's face.

**Yuya**: FOR GIVING ME AN EXCUSE TO KILL YOU ALL!!!

* * *

_You guys haven't talked much._

**Kyoshiro**: _(dryly) _Oh, however did you notice.

**Sakuya**: I got two questions.

**Okuni**: I got one interview and a bit.

**Sasuke**: So did a couple of the rest of us, but we just know how to butt into other people's answers.

**Doubly**: Hell, _I _got a question! Although it was unanswerable due to personal rights.

* * *

_Hey, does the fact that we're now asking each other questions unrelated to the manga/anime mean that we can take a break?_

**Kyo**: If the author is running out of ideas, guess so.

**Benitora**: Is there a bathroom somewhere?

**Okuni**: Oh, I need to take my noon time beauty nap.

**Yuya**: I need to go find my gun and reload it…

**Doubly**: You are NOT getting it anywhere close to this room again.

**Kyoshiro**: Sakuya, could you make us some of your tea and snacks until the next chapter?

_Doubly inches away._

**Sakuya**: _(beaming purely) _Of course!

**Doubly**: They do say that those of dark hearts are drawn to the light…

**Sasuke**: Hey, Yukimura, did you say you were bringing Saizo and the others?

**Yukimura**: They should be waiting in the changing rooms.

**Doubly**: Careful, I just got a message from the supervising producer that there's a massive crowd of fan girls waiting in ambush at your door.

**Yukimura**: Can we take the break now? Please?

**Doubly**: Apparently the ones who couldn't stay as long left a pile of flowers, chocolate and sake in your room.

**Sasuke**: It sounds as though you've died and they're giving you offerings.

**Yukimura**: Haa~h, if me dying means that I can get all that wonderful affection, I'm willing to do so any day.

**Sasuke** & **Doubly**: _(panic) _NOT a good idea.

**Yukimura**: See how much I'm loved?

* * *

**Doubly**: Okay, guys, one final question and we're done for today.  
_(Mingled groans and cheers rise from the others)_

_If you could be anyone else in Samurai Deeper Kyo for a day, who will you be?_

_We'll listen to your reasons in the next chapter._

**Doubly**: Okay, let's make this short and simple. No, Kyo, we will not have any of that I'm–so–powerful–why–would–I–even–aspire–to–be–one–of–those–worthless– underlings–of–mine crap.

**Kyo**: …Muramasa.

**Yuya**: Mahiro-san.

**Benitora**: Yukimura-han.

**Okuni**: Sakuya-san.

**Yukimura**: Maybe Hotaru?

**Sasuke**: Kosuke.

**Sakuya**: Kosuke-san.

**Kyoshiro**: Toukichiro (Akari) –san.

**Doubly**: Either Yukimura or Sasuke.

**Kyo**: Are you even allowed to answer?

**Doubly**: I LIKE TO PRETEND I'M ACTUALLY INSIDE THE SERIES, OKAY???

* * *

**Doubly**: To readers – please send me any questions you may have for these characters, either by reviews or PMs (unless you have a lot of time on your hands and actually bothered to track down my email address, or facebook account, or something).

It can be for any character, not necessarily those who appeared today (e.g, Muramasa, Mayumi, Aka no Ou, Tokito, the Shiseiten) so that as long as I have met them one way or another, I can host another "show" like this, only with those people and YOUR questions.

PLEASE TRY TO THINK UP WACKY AND UNEXPECTED QUESTIONS WE'LL ALL HAVE FUN READING. I guess that's originally my job, but you know, we all HATE having to read character information that we can pick up from the main story. Please also try to avoid repeating the same/ similar questions already answered. We also all know how that can be like.

See you next time! Don't forget to review!

**Benitora**: I need to pee!

**Yuya**: Hold it in, we're supposed to be waving and grinning like mad idiots until the screen blacks out.


End file.
